I've been making chocolate professionally for about 25 years. It's not a big fat brag, it's just what I do. You'd think I'd have it down by now. That's what I think most of the time.
I've had it in my head to bring back an old favorite, Figaro, to the shop. It's been in my head for a few months now. I just could never find the time, it seemed. I realized at the start of the week that in fact, that wasn't true.
I was nervous.
I hadn't made it in years, maybe a decade. I have shadowy memories of it only being partially successful. After I had made it a few times, I still didn't feel like I owned the recipe. It harshed my candyland mellow, and eventually I dropped it from our repertoire.
I'm old enough that I don't like not being an expert at my job.
I've got a birthday coming. Such stupid thoughts in the face of another ring around the sun, said I!
I got all the ingredients last week, and then I put it off again, until just yesterday. I'll tell you what: when I flubbed the first batch, I wasn't surprised at all. Not a whit! Don't get me wrong, it was super tasty. Just wrong. In lots of ways.
After retreating into my office to do some non-threatening paperwork, I thought about it some more. Double checking my math, my ratios.
The thing about making a mistake in chocolate (especially Figaro), is that it's costly, and I dislike wasting money almost as much as not being an expert. Double whammy, mammy, get on your horse and ride!
And so I did.
Second time was a charm, but the best part of the whole process was having a laugh at myself and who I think I am sometimes. It's got me all jazzed up to make some more mistakes. We're just heading into a fairly predictable summer season; there's plenty of time and space to work on some new ideas.
Or maybe just make some of the things I love best.
Stay tuned. Who knows what could happen next.
your flawed, but devoted, chocolatier.